It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
