this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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