Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I am spending my child support on dildos
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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