I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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