Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
