Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
