If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
We're too hungover to prance.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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