I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I look better un-naked...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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