Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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