so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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