You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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