You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
