Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
