Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
should my penis look like a turkey
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
