I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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