i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
