They should really pass out barf bags in church
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm getting married
To pizza
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
