He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
