did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
