when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
