he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
