I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
