I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
