TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
