ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
