im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
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