What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
