she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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