bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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