I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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