can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
