so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
