you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
