You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
