I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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