there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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