help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
