I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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