More tranny stories later!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
