yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
