I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I'm like, not good at living.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize