One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.