I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered