yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.