have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.