Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You tried paying your tab with the coaster