I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize