Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
