i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize