Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
