Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
