I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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