Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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