we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
