Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
