i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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