Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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