You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be naked everywhere
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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