i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
