would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just invented taco cereal.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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