I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
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and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
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Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize