After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
